








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7306 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5306 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4235 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3612 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,318 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schooled | 64% | 162 |
| #2 | hux | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | KEN1 | 59% | 116 |
| #4 | lanimal | 56% | 275 |
| #5 | n3b[s] | 55% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Key_On | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Cheese | 22 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | lanimal | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | KEN1 | 15 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | n3b[s] | 14 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lanimal | 1432 | 0.25 | 33 min |
| #2 | Key_On | 1039 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #3 | n3b[s] | 800 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #4 | Envy | 722 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #5 | schooled | 706 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEN1 | +2.72 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | HEMANNN | +2.37 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | schooled | +2.21 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | hux | +2.06 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | lanimal | +1.16 | 76 | 60 |





