








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4697 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6050 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5022 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3612 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,675,355 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishhy | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | schooled | 58% | 186 |
| #3 | lanimal | 56% | 319 |
| #4 | n3b[s] | 54% | 216 |
| #5 | bees | 53% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheese | 32 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | lanimal | 30 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | n3b[s] | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | KEN1 | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | HEMANNN | 11 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEMANNN | 1918 | 0.24 | 51 min |
| #2 | lanimal | 1588 | 0.24 | 35 min |
| #3 | schooled | 788 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #4 | Cheese | 669 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #5 | Envy | 650 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEMANNN | +2.81 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | schooled | +2.66 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | hux | +2.16 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | KEN1 | +2.12 | 90 | 66 |
| #5 | lanimal | +1.75 | 76 | 57 |





