








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1656 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2370 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2189 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2913 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,618 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gazzaboy19 | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | spikecustard | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | Wiisteve2000 | 51% | 110 |
| #4 | Mazza | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | Quzyvoid | 49% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quzyvoid | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Wiisteve2000 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Gazzaboy19 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | spikecustard | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quzyvoid | 534 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Wiisteve2000 | 256 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | spikecustard | 75 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gazzaboy19 | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | shono | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |





