








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 51 | 1% |
| Smokes | 2164 | 54% |
| HE Grenades | 101 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $927,589 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiisteve2000 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Loomzin | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | spikecustard | 53% | 238 |
| #4 | Syrup | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | Quzyvoid | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Loomzin | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | spikecustard | 53% | 238 |
| #4 | Syrup | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | Quzyvoid | 48% | 67 |
| #6 | shono | 46% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quzyvoid | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | spikecustard | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | shono | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Syrup | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Loomzin | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spikecustard | 445 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | shono | 319 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Quzyvoid | 222 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Syrup | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wiisteve2000 | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiisteve2000 | +3.11 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | spikecustard | +0.57 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Mazza | +0.44 | 44 | 21 |
| #4 | Loomzin | -0.41 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | shono | -1.36 | 46 | 61 |





