








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1756 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2301 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1691 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1406 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,413 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loomzin | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Theo | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Wiisteve2000 | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | shono | 61% | 41 |
| #5 | Syrup | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Wiisteve2000 | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | shono | 61% | 41 |
| #5 | Syrup | 53% | 51 |
| #6 | Mazza | 53% | 238 |
| #7 | Quzyvoid | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quzyvoid | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Mazza | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Loomzin | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Syrup | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quzyvoid | 178 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | shono | 162 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Syrup | 60 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wiisteve2000 | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Loomzin | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiisteve2000 | +4.12 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | Theo | +0.92 | 46 | 76 |
| #3 | spikecustard | +0.56 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Mazza | +0.41 | 44 | 22 |
| #5 | Loomzin | -0.39 | 53 | 53 |





