








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Esplay | 51 matches | 2,132 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2012 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2657 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2075 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2018 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,586 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wangen | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | krydder =DDDD BLM | 66% | 64 |
| #3 | eriksen | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | ❤✪♛KaKe er godt♛✪❤ | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | kapder ff | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Vestby | 58% | 89 |
| #7 | DuuPern | 57% | 23 |
| #8 | vakken | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | Sander | 35% | 26 |
| #10 | Itachi | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krydder =DDDD BLM | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | eriksen | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Vestby | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | vakken | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | kapder ff | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krydder =DDDD BLM | 308 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Vestby | 240 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | ❤✪♛KaKe er godt♛✪❤ | 193 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | vakken | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | eriksen | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krydder =DDDD BLM | +3.17 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | ❤✪♛KaKe er godt♛✪❤ | +1.82 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Makrellen | +1.19 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | eriksen | +0.95 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | DuuPern | +0.66 | 71 | 56 |





