








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Esplay | 19 matches | 2,139 | |
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3943 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3068 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3055 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2609 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,277 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wangen | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | JENNY @nomonitor@nosound | 67% | 48 |
| #3 | eriksen | 64% | 173 |
| #4 | støkker | 62% | 55 |
| #5 | fab | 62% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eriksen | 21 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | JENNY @nomonitor@nosound | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Wangen | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | fab | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | cat | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eriksen | 520 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | fab | 251 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | krydder =DDDD BLM | 218 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | JENNY @nomonitor@nosound | 201 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Makrellen | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤✪♛KaKe er godt♛✪❤ | +3.02 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | fab | +2.02 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | eriksen | +1.95 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | krydder =DDDD BLM | +1.52 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | Makrellen | +0.06 | 78 | 61 |





