








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 252 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 2,075 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5410 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4012 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6166 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3355 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,305,228 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjorna | 52% | 302 |
| #2 | Cardoso | 52% | 176 |
| #3 | Karstein | 50% | 274 |
| #4 | sQuirtmaker | 50% | 413 |
| #5 | Jetta Driver | 49% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jetta Driver | 49% | 273 |
| #6 | Simzy | 43% | 112 |
| #7 | Elvin | 42% | 71 |
| #8 | Hurthi | 36% | 83 |
| #9 | Reapercub | 28% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jetta Driver | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | sQuirtmaker | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Cardoso | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Bjorna | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Hurthi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sQuirtmaker | 1216 | 0.13 | 33 min |
| #2 | Cardoso | 764 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | Bjorna | 691 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #4 | Jetta Driver | 512 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | Karstein | 433 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjorna | +2.19 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Cardoso | +0.58 | 76 | 76 |
| #3 | amund | +0.49 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | sQuirtmaker | +0.29 | 59 | 73 |
| #5 | Hurthi | -0.22 | 75 | 57 |





