








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 742 matches | ||
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Esplay | 30 matches | 1,872 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11432 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10916 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10453 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9759 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,213,821 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 451 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjorna | 52% | 311 |
| #2 | SHIGGAE | 50% | 86 |
| #3 | Karstein | 50% | 364 |
| #4 | amund | 50% | 413 |
| #5 | Cardoso | 49% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cardoso | 49% | 354 |
| #6 | Jetta Driver | 48% | 461 |
| #7 | Simzy | 45% | 64 |
| #8 | BotKS | 44% | 78 |
| #9 | Elvin | 42% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jetta Driver | 17 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Cardoso | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | amund | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Bjorna | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | SHIGGAE | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardoso | 1444 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #2 | amund | 860 | 0.09 | 26 min |
| #3 | Jetta Driver | 851 | 0.09 | 27 min |
| #4 | Bjorna | 709 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #5 | Karstein | 479 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjorna | +2.17 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | SHIGGAE | +1.68 | 59 | 73 |
| #3 | BotKS | +1.39 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | amund | +0.58 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Cardoso | +0.54 | 77 | 77 |





