










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5623 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6924 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3155 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4312 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,928,999 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMikeshmya | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | Average Joe | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | Hoon | 53% | 140 |
| #4 | KiRKiVORE | 51% | 203 |
| #5 | Jay | 51% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KiRKiVORE | 51% | 203 |
| #5 | Jay | 51% | 242 |
| #6 | Suddam Humane | 50% | 72 |
| #7 | DreadNipple | 50% | 76 |
| #8 | CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | KiRKiVORE | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | xMikeshmya | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Hoon | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Average Joe | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay | 424 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Hoon | 410 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | KiRKiVORE | 306 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Average Joe | 218 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | DreadNipple | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Average Joe | +3.45 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | Hoon | +2.21 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | DreadNipple | +1.56 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | KiRKiVORE | +0.88 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Jay | +0.72 | 63 | 52 |





