








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 440 matches | ||
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 265 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7182 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8923 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9863 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8688 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,226,309 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HybridBeing | 54% | 291 |
| #2 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | 52% | 216 |
| #3 | j3eivoo | 52% | 559 |
| #4 | Akanta | 51% | 577 |
| #5 | NiBoEp | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akanta | 19 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | j3eivoo | 12 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | HybridBeing | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | NiBoEp | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3eivoo | 3358 | 0.27 | 104 min |
| #2 | Akanta | 2214 | 0.18 | 71 min |
| #3 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | 610 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #4 | HybridBeing | 532 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #5 | NiBoEp | 201 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3eivoo | +1.03 | 65 | 87 |
| #2 | Akanta | +0.76 | 48 | 77 |
| #3 | Rubiks694 | +0.37 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | NiBoEp | +0.18 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | -0.08 | 69 | 71 |





