








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3762 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5503 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6697 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3860 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,856,762 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Akanta | 51% | 541 |
| #6 | Schildkröte | 50% | 44 |
| #7 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | 50% | 127 |
| #8 | NiBoEp | 49% | 99 |
| #9 | <king8954> | 44% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akanta | 13 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | j3eivoo | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Rubiks694 | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Schildkröte | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3eivoo | 3055 | 0.27 | 97 min |
| #2 | Akanta | 1970 | 0.17 | 63 min |
| #3 | Rubiks694 | 691 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #4 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | 370 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | Schildkröte | 222 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schildkröte | +2.80 | 79 | 84 |
| #2 | j3eivoo | +1.15 | 66 | 88 |
| #3 | Akanta | +0.76 | 47 | 77 |
| #4 | NiBoEp | +0.71 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Rubiks694 | -0.15 | 77 | 74 |





