








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5742 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4541 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3884 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3231 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,752,905 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HybridBeing | 50% | 127 |
| #6 | Felinator | 48% | 88 |
| #7 | NiBoEp | 47% | 59 |
| #8 | <king8954> | 46% | 82 |
| #9 | TheRealPrimetime | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akanta | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | j3eivoo | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | NiBoEp | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Rubiks694 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | HybridBeing | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3eivoo | 1597 | 0.26 | 52 min |
| #2 | Akanta | 1025 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #3 | Rubiks694 | 559 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | HybridBeing | 192 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Felinator | 136 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3eivoo | +1.69 | 71 | 86 |
| #2 | Akanta | +1.02 | 46 | 75 |
| #3 | NiBoEp | +0.93 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | Rubiks694 | +0.73 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | ★ | kleiner Prinz | +0.03 | 71 | 71 |





