








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2654 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2662 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1567 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2256 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,296 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uli 웃 | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | p3kko | 85% | 20 |
| #3 | ekho. | 82% | 11 |
| #4 | ottob | 81% | 21 |
| #5 | puuha | 73% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | k0tka | 59% | 122 |
| #12 | tilus | 59% | 46 |
| #13 | kazub | 57% | 23 |
| #14 | Kurjen Jimmy | 50% | 38 |
| #15 | Lauri (gamer) | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0tka | 15 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | 1totemic | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | fella | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Dr. Edger | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | MrSuperrs | 4 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Edger | 472 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | 1totemic | 322 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | k0tka | 195 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | fella | 187 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kurjen Jimmy | 123 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | +5.50 | 91 | 78 |
| #2 | puuha | +3.37 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | uli 웃 | +3.20 | 86 | 76 |
| #4 | MrSuperrs | +1.06 | 62 | 72 |
| #5 | p3kko | +0.55 | 85 | 80 |





