








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1068 | 27% |
| Smokes | 922 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1153 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 781 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,270 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slane | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Koorkie ☭ | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | Flo | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | niklasf1 | 47% | 120 |
| #5 | Tachyon | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tachyon | 47% | 43 |
| #6 | aydrod | 45% | 110 |
| #7 | crit^ | 45% | 97 |
| #8 | fiSh123 <º)))>< | 36% | 22 |
| #9 | CEMEN_SUKIN | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crit^ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | aydrod | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Koorkie ☭ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Flo | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | niklasf1 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niklasf1 | 521 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | aydrod | 187 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | crit^ | 167 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | fiSh123 <º)))>< | 106 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Koorkie ☭ | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koorkie ☭ | +4.59 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | fiSh123 <º)))>< | +3.39 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Flo | +2.02 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | niklasf1 | +1.46 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | CEMEN_SUKIN | +1.25 | 80 | 76 |





