








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4651 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3136 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3476 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2897 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,457 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koalian | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Koorkie ☭ | 57% | 76 |
| #3 | Nils | 55% | 148 |
| #4 | Slane | 53% | 212 |
| #5 | Flo | 52% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | FlyFaster | 47% | 120 |
| #10 | Tachyon | 44% | 45 |
| #11 | crit^ | 44% | 142 |
| #12 | aydrod | 43% | 127 |
| #13 | CEMEN_SUKIN | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | crit^ | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Nils | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | FlyFaster | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | NachtschattN | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slane | 895 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #2 | Flo | 779 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | NachtschattN | 416 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nils | 387 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | aydrod | 248 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koorkie ☭ | +3.32 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | fiSh123 <º)))>< | +2.45 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | Koalian | +1.45 | 87 | 47 |
| #4 | Flo | +1.13 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | Nils | +1.02 | 83 | 66 |





