








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1092 | 31% |
| Smokes | 608 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1365 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,768 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slane | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Koorkie ☭ | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Tachyon | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | FlyFaster | 45% | 97 |
| #5 | niklasf1 | 44% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | niklasf1 | 44% | 142 |
| #6 | fiSh123 <º)))>< | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | aydrod | 39% | 121 |
| #8 | Flo | 34% | 41 |
| #9 | CEMEN_SUKIN | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlyFaster | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | aydrod | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Flo | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | niklasf1 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Koorkie ☭ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niklasf1 | 662 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | aydrod | 241 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | FlyFaster | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Koorkie ☭ | 137 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | fiSh123 <º)))>< | 135 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koorkie ☭ | +4.05 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | fiSh123 <º)))>< | +2.95 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Flo | +1.79 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | niklasf1 | +1.38 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | CEMEN_SUKIN | +1.12 | 82 | 75 |





