








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1169 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 512 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,319 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uʍɐp | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | audum | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | 9 | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | holly | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | boxxy | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holly | 22 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | piss yourself <3 | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | friend | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | audum | 5 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holly | 161 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | self sacktualization achieved | 116 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | friend | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | boxxy | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holly | +2.86 | 67 | 30 |
| #2 | boxxy | +2.74 | 61 | 43 |
| #3 | audum | +2.32 | 68 | 36 |
| #4 | self sacktualization achieved | +1.72 | 79 | 41 |
| #5 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | +1.11 | 69 | 35 |





