








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 866 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




310 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8433 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3347 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2017 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 5426 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,536,940 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1814 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | self sacktualization achieved | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | window | 51% | 99 |
| #4 | audum | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | jakuzure | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | window | 51% | 99 |
| #4 | audum | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | jakuzure | 47% | 59 |
| #6 | holly | 46% | 59 |
| #7 | boxxy | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | audum | 34 | 0.0342 |
| #2 | holly | 17 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | window | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | self sacktualization achieved | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boxxy | 218 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | self sacktualization achieved | 198 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | holly | 198 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | window | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | 59 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holly | +3.62 | 78 | 28 |
| #2 | self sacktualization achieved | +1.78 | 81 | 40 |
| #3 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | +1.40 | 74 | 42 |
| #4 | audum | +1.05 | 57 | 34 |
| #5 | friend | +1.02 | 71 | 44 |





