








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2761 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1488 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 248 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3605 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5473 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3463 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2297 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,330,076 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0joe_- | 55% | 88 |
| #2 | uʍɐp | 51% | 139 |
| #3 | Adrian | 50% | 149 |
| #4 | self sacktualization achieved | 48% | 731 |
| #5 | 𝔈𝔩𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 | 48% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | self sacktualization achieved | 68 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | holly | 57 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | piss yourself <3 | 34 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | GuroPup | 24 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | 9 | 11 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | self sacktualization achieved | 2015 | 0.13 | 38 min |
| #2 | holly | 755 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | GuroPup | 744 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | 9 | 612 | 0.06 | 19 min |
| #5 | 𝔈𝔩𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 | 408 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holly | +3.39 | 78 | 42 |
| #2 | self sacktualization achieved | +1.19 | 77 | 46 |
| #3 | 𝔈𝔩𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 | +0.26 | 69 | 39 |
| #4 | ⛧𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗⛧ | +0.10 | 69 | 38 |
| #5 | m0joe_- | +0.02 | 55 | 49 |





