










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1500 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1036 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,503 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vexas | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | GingaNinja | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | tk | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | LαzyΩ | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | Alamedin | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jumpi^x2 | 52% | 21 |
| #11 | skippo | 50% | 50 |
| #12 | JC_H | 42% | 31 |
| #13 | chr1s | 40% | 15 |
| #14 | trekmann bottom text | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alamedin | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | tk | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | trekmann bottom text | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippo | 260 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | pauljs | 102 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | tk | 100 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | jumpi^x2 | 74 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | LαzyΩ | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pauljs | +4.24 | 95 | 57 |
| #2 | tk | +1.18 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | atomic :) | +1.18 | 65 | 63 |
| #4 | LαzyΩ | +1.00 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | LikeSarin | +0.98 | 86 | 68 |





