








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 757 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11404 | 28% |
| Smokes | 11986 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6902 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 9750 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,124,236 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 981 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spidergum | 70% | 53 |
| #2 | monsieur Cloudio | 64% | 99 |
| #3 | F18 | 61% | 140 |
| #4 | gambe | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | eNHaeL | 60% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | QuackaJoe | 53% | 45 |
| #13 | breezyyLLLLLLLLL | 52% | 95 |
| #14 | Iko | 50% | 50 |
| #15 | -jhN | 50% | 56 |
| #16 | .Clay | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F18 | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | eNHaeL | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Spidergum | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | QuackaJoe | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | LikeSarin | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LikeSarin | 807 | 0.07 | 21 min |
| #2 | chr1s | 497 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | eNZY ✪ | 471 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | F18 | 414 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | JC_H | 368 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spidergum | +3.30 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | monsieur Cloudio | +1.36 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | F18 | +1.02 | 88 | 58 |
| #4 | breezyyLLLLLLLLL | +0.95 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | gambe | +0.93 | 83 | 60 |





