








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1650 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 925 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1580 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,654 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GingaNinja | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Iko | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | jumpi^x2 | 58% | 88 |
| #4 | treky | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | pauljs | 50% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pauljs | 50% | 143 |
| #6 | Alamedin | 50% | 84 |
| #7 | Vexas | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | Sam le Slick Slime | 38% | 47 |
| #9 | trekmann bottom text | 38% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alamedin | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | pauljs | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | jumpi^x2 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | trekmann bottom text | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Sam le Slick Slime | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pauljs | 454 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | jumpi^x2 | 259 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Alamedin | 194 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Iko | 178 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #5 | Vexas | 106 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pauljs | +3.66 | 95 | 57 |
| #2 | jumpi^x2 | +2.50 | 93 | 57 |
| #3 | Iko | +2.23 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | Vexas | +1.76 | 87 | 49 |
| #5 | tk | +0.62 | 77 | 64 |





