








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 244 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1454 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2586 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1841 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2533 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,082,962 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -jhN | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | eNHaeL | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | gambe | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | breezyyLLLLLLLLL | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | chr1s | 59% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LikeSarin | 58% | 198 |
| #7 | eNZY ✪ | 57% | 96 |
| #8 | LαzyΩ | 56% | 71 |
| #9 | skippo | 56% | 206 |
| #10 | Iko | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LikeSarin | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | Iko | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | eNHaeL | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippo | 1068 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | LikeSarin | 297 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | chr1s | 236 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | eNZY ✪ | 214 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | LαzyΩ | 149 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LikeSarin | +1.47 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | breezyyLLLLLLLLL | +0.73 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | chr1s | +0.58 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | LαzyΩ | +0.40 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | gambe | +0.39 | 93 | 59 |





