








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1040 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 671 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1073 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,858 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JM | 62% | 73 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Cru$h | 54% | 138 |
| #4 | RPT | 52% | 119 |
| #5 | Mizore | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cru$h | 54% | 138 |
| #4 | RPT | 52% | 119 |
| #5 | Mizore | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | The Babbahermeeni | 45% | 44 |
| #7 | Don | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | RPT | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | JM | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | The Babbahermeeni | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 777 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | The Babbahermeeni | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | RPT | 102 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | GhostRob | 79 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | JM | 77 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | +1.46 | 59 | 79 |
| #2 | GhostRob | +1.38 | 55 | 67 |
| #3 | RPT | +0.17 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | JM | +0.06 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | Drag0n | -0.55 | 81 | 61 |





