








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6039 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5519 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4062 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5280 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,059,899 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeji | 66% | 99 |
| #2 | MasterAce <3 | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | Swoffmiester | 61% | 56 |
| #4 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 55% | 139 |
| #5 | z | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | perculated | 51% | 68 |
| #10 | bbl jerry | 51% | 37 |
| #11 | JM | 48% | 111 |
| #12 | RPT | 46% | 69 |
| #13 | The Babbahermeeni | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 46 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | yeji | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | MasterAce <3 | 9 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | perculated | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | z | 7 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 878 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #2 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 736 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #3 | mandu | 238 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Swoffmiester | 178 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | yeji | 177 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeji | +2.40 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | GhostRob | +1.34 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | +1.05 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | MasterAce <3 | +1.00 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | Cru$h | +0.90 | 55 | 78 |





