










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2834 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3641 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1897 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3001 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,177 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | FoXTroZT | 54% | 98 |
| #11 | aeasf | 52% | 27 |
| #12 | Extremist_Gang | 48% | 25 |
| #13 | Kittycat456321 | 46% | 24 |
| #14 | -Trafalgar | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloomy | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | patty | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Kittycat456321 | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | LazerRadical | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Aeroins | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloomy | 645 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | FoXTroZT | 374 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | LazerRadical | 254 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | 0d1n | 218 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mythu Lil Monkey | 163 | 0.16 | 3 min |





