








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3148 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2222 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2314 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2903 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,413,775 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluorine | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | Yayo | 68% | 37 |
| #3 | Moop | 68% | 40 |
| #4 | doctorjazz | 66% | 87 |
| #5 | C̵h̷e̶r̵r̸y̴ ̸B̷o̸i̵ ̵H̶×n̶t̴e̸r | 61% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Kittycat456321 | 54% | 35 |
| #12 | stormK | 51% | 59 |
| #13 | patty | 50% | 26 |
| #14 | Nucking Futs | 49% | 49 |
| #15 | Honk | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloomy | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | FoXTroZT | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | LazerRadical | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | doctorjazz | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | stormK | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoXTroZT | 768 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Gloomy | 654 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #3 | doctorjazz | 281 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | stormK | 255 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | LazerRadical | 250 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doctorjazz | +3.46 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | Yayo | +2.98 | 89 | 70 |
| #3 | LazerRadical | +2.39 | 88 | 52 |
| #4 | 0d1n | +2.38 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | C̵h̷e̶r̵r̸y̴ ̸B̷o̸i̵ ̵H̶×n̶t̴e̸r | +1.29 | 69 | 53 |





