








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 473 | 23% |
| Smokes | 431 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 730 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 451 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $641,077 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonesii | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | Tomppeliib | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | neitsyt jartsa | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Zyratin | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | yerba make | 49% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 44% | 116 |
| #7 | Kehardi | 41% | 27 |
| #8 | Pete | 35% | 34 |
| #9 | Sponsorimatias | 34% | 59 |
| #10 | nono | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yerba make | 18 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Jonesii | 9 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Zyratin | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Sponsorimatias | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yerba make | 306 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 279 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zyratin | 271 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Tomppeliib | 242 | 0.47 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sponsorimatias | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | +6.49 | 81 | 77 |
| #2 | Zyratin | +2.84 | 64 | 72 |
| #3 | yerba make | +1.82 | 41 | 71 |
| #4 | Jonesii | +1.42 | 57 | 46 |
| #5 | Whiff | +0.36 | 54 | 22 |





