








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2463 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2093 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2197 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,606,737 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiff | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | Tomppeliib | 63% | 168 |
| #3 | Zyratin | 62% | 76 |
| #4 | yerba make | 60% | 179 |
| #5 | Sponsorimatias | 60% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yerba make | 22 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Whiff | 13 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Tomppeliib | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | neitsyt jartsa | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | 1470 | 0.44 | 40 min |
| #2 | nono | 737 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | neitsyt jartsa | 675 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 473 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | yerba make | 451 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | +5.67 | 75 | 81 |
| #2 | Jonesii | +3.56 | 66 | 54 |
| #3 | Zyratin | +2.91 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | yerba make | +0.98 | 37 | 66 |
| #5 | Whiff | +0.10 | 51 | 18 |





