








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2749 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3020 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2472 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2231 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,575 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | 68% | 63 |
| #2 | Jonesii | 62% | 76 |
| #3 | nono | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | neitsyt jartsa | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | yerba make | 53% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yerba make | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Whiff | 12 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Jonesii | 11 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Tomppeliib | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | 606 | 0.49 | 18 min |
| #2 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 321 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | yerba make | 320 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | nono | 135 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jonesii | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | +6.17 | 77 | 84 |
| #2 | Zyratin | +2.20 | 63 | 72 |
| #3 | Jonesii | +2.06 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | yerba make | +1.53 | 44 | 67 |
| #5 | nono | +0.25 | 51 | 69 |





