








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1134 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2418 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1599 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1350 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,485 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 45% | 197 |
| #3 | Lobster | 43% | 189 |
| #4 | Crawdad | 39% | 107 |
| #5 | Mr Frenzied Sniper | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 45% | 197 |
| #3 | Lobster | 43% | 189 |
| #4 | Crawdad | 39% | 107 |
| #5 | Mr Frenzied Sniper | 37% | 19 |
| #6 | SmileZ | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 79 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | Crawdad | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Mr Frenzied Sniper | 11 | 0.0292 |
| #4 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | SmileZ | 5 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 357 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Crawdad | 199 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 120 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shrimp | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr Frenzied Sniper | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skyfoogle | +0.11 | 72 | 39 |
| #2 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | -0.04 | 32 | 34 |
| #3 | Lobster | -0.35 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | Mr Frenzied Sniper | -0.39 | 83 | 48 |
| #5 | Crawdad | -1.16 | 25 | 33 |





