








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 647 | 18% |
| Smokes | 856 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1126 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 890 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,474 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp | 48% | 65 |
| #2 | Skyfoogle | 45% | 197 |
| #3 | Crawdad | 41% | 79 |
| #4 | Lobster | 38% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp | 48% | 65 |
| #2 | Skyfoogle | 45% | 197 |
| #3 | Crawdad | 41% | 79 |
| #4 | Lobster | 38% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 45 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Skyfoogle | 26 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Crawdad | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Shrimp | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 223 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Skyfoogle | 181 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Crawdad | 177 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shrimp | 121 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skyfoogle | +0.08 | 74 | 34 |
| #2 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | -0.03 | 33 | 33 |
| #3 | Lobster | -0.97 | 57 | 50 |
| #4 | Crawdad | -1.51 | 27 | 31 |
| #5 | Shrimp | -2.35 | 35 | 47 |





