








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




125 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2910 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2812 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1528 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,347 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crawdad | 45% | 113 |
| #2 | Skyfoogle | 43% | 189 |
| #3 | Shrimp | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 38% | 133 |
| #5 | SmileZ | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crawdad | 45% | 113 |
| #2 | Skyfoogle | 43% | 189 |
| #3 | Shrimp | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 38% | 133 |
| #5 | SmileZ | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skyfoogle | 28 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Crawdad | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SmileZ | 5 | 0.0149 |
| #5 | Shrimp | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crawdad | 233 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Skyfoogle | 198 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 76 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shrimp | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | SmileZ | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skyfoogle | +0.49 | 74 | 41 |
| #2 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | +0.05 | 32 | 35 |
| #3 | Lobster | -0.21 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | Crawdad | -1.03 | 29 | 34 |
| #5 | Shrimp | -2.42 | 32 | 45 |





