








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3213 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2939 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2047 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1195 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $301,549 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 45% | 113 |
| #2 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 41% | 79 |
| #3 | Skyfoogle | 39% | 107 |
| #4 | "Mr Purple" | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 45% | 113 |
| #2 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 41% | 79 |
| #3 | Skyfoogle | 39% | 107 |
| #4 | "Mr Purple" | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 41 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | "Mr Purple" | 32 | 0.0309 |
| #3 | Skyfoogle | 13 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 212 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | "Mr Purple" | 186 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Skyfoogle | 124 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Mr Purple" | +1.79 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | Lobster | -0.19 | 58 | 52 |
| #3 | Skyfoogle | -0.20 | 72 | 39 |
| #4 | Crawdad | -0.63 | 27 | 35 |
| #5 | ♿︎ Palo Devnchenzo ♿ | -0.68 | 31 | 36 |





