








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2817 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1931 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 580 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,021 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Maxology☂ | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | Ron Wassili | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | El_Jefe | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | freddieeeee | 40% | 45 |
| #13 | Kampftomate | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -poza- | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | freddieeeee | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | SchafElite | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | fabseN | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Berserker | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -poza- | 440 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | SchafElite | 336 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | freddieeeee | 314 | 0.33 | 10 min |
| #4 | fabseN | 151 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Berserker | 125 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fightgurke | +2.29 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Berserker | +1.72 | 56 | 78 |
| #3 | electrize | +1.07 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | -poza- | +0.82 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Mamamohawk | +0.48 | 79 | 54 |





