








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2477 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2368 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2008 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2052 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,071 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kampftomate | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | El_Jefe | 48% | 52 |
| #7 | electrize | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | fabseN | 43% | 97 |
| #9 | freddieeeee | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -poza- | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | fightgurke | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | El_Jefe | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | fabseN | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | electrize | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fightgurke | 453 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | -poza- | 352 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kampftomate | 184 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #4 | fabseN | 169 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | freddieeeee | 92 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kampftomate | +3.24 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | fightgurke | +2.37 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Berserker | +1.56 | 50 | 72 |
| #4 | freddieeeee | +1.38 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | -poza- | +0.79 | 68 | 64 |





