








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8920 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6020 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4815 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6566 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,673 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cystic | 55% | 227 |
| #2 | Mamamohawk | 53% | 146 |
| #3 | silec | 53% | 220 |
| #4 | Otzelot | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | chewie2k Skinport.com | 52% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Cystic | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ✪ halu | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | yANNIK ;. | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | chewie2k Skinport.com | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cystic | 591 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | yANNIK ;. | 484 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Moe Lester | 475 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | speedk3ks | 448 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #5 | ✪ halu | 431 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | +2.26 | 63 | 68 |
| #2 | speedk3ks | +1.89 | 57 | 64 |
| #3 | Mamamohawk | +1.44 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Berserker | +1.18 | 58 | 78 |
| #5 | Cystic | +1.16 | 79 | 59 |





