








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 885 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,975 | |
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3219 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5508 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3237 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4165 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,802,555 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 50% | 185 |
| #2 | VildeTilde | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | TOBY | 49% | 136 |
| #4 | anneerr | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | Matrix | 46% | 338 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOBY | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Phoenix | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | VildeTilde | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Matrix | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | maddie | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 455 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Matrix | 402 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | TOBY | 347 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bob4 | 204 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | VildeTilde | 140 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob4 | +3.11 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | Ellingsenツ | +1.77 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | TOBY | +0.31 | 72 | 46 |
| #4 | Matrix | -1.10 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | VildeTilde | -1.26 | 62 | 51 |





