








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2877 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4454 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4069 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2949 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,121,618 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sPm | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Ellingsenツ | 46% | 338 |
| #3 | TOBY | 45% | 117 |
| #4 | Phoenix | 45% | 153 |
| #5 | VildeTilde | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Phoenix | 45% | 153 |
| #5 | VildeTilde | 45% | 40 |
| #6 | banana beans | 43% | 47 |
| #7 | maddie | 41% | 124 |
| #8 | Timber 乔什 | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellingsenツ | 19 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | TOBY | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | banana beans | 9 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Timber 乔什 | 9 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Phoenix | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellingsenツ | 704 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | Phoenix | 369 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | TOBY | 250 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | banana beans | 218 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Timber 乔什 | 143 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sPm | +4.10 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | banana beans | +1.82 | 94 | 56 |
| #3 | Ellingsenツ | +1.69 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | TOBY | -0.32 | 75 | 46 |
| #5 | VildeTilde | -0.87 | 63 | 47 |





