








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1423 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1422 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1719 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1284 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,692,781 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruceyPotato | 47% | 30 |
| #2 | WorriedPompano | 46% | 110 |
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 46% | 70 |
| #4 | PanickedPompano | 40% | 43 |
| #5 | DistraughtPompano | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 46% | 70 |
| #4 | PanickedPompano | 40% | 43 |
| #5 | DistraughtPompano | 32% | 37 |
| #6 | El Clapo | 28% | 32 |
| #7 | Femboy Goon Cave | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | WorriedPompano | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | PanickedPompano | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | El Clapo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | BruceyPotato | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WorriedPompano | 446 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 323 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | BruceyPotato | 108 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | DistraughtPompano | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | PanickedPompano | 21 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruceyPotato | +2.94 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | WorriedPompano | +2.47 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | +2.40 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | PanickedPompano | -1.46 | 21 | 24 |
| #5 | Femboy Goon Cave | -1.81 | 61 | 39 |





