








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2134 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2444 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3037 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1906 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,432 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruceyPotato | 49% | 43 |
| #2 | ConcernedPompano | 46% | 110 |
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 42% | 43 |
| #4 | El Clapo | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | PanickedPompano | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 42% | 43 |
| #4 | El Clapo | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | PanickedPompano | 32% | 19 |
| #6 | DistraughtPompano | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | Femboy Goon Cave | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConcernedPompano | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | BruceyPotato | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | PanickedPompano | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 209 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | BruceyPotato | 207 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | ConcernedPompano | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | DistraughtPompano | 16 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Femboy Goon Cave | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WorriedPompano | +2.08 | 64 | 60 |
| #2 | BruceyPotato | +1.99 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | +1.63 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | PanickedPompano | -0.25 | 21 | 15 |
| #5 | ConcernedPompano | -1.71 | 37 | 47 |





