










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 117 | 26% |
| Smokes | 28 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 135 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 170 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,261 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PanickedPompano | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | BruceyPotato | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 38% | 24 |
| #4 | WorriedPompano | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | Baraboos | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ConcernedPompano | 28% | 32 |
| #7 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 25% | 12 |
| #8 | Femboy Goon Cave | 20% | 10 |
| #9 | Richardwitdabag | 0% | 4 |
| #10 | DistraughtPompano | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ConcernedPompano | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | WorriedPompano | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | PanickedPompano | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WorriedPompano | 107 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 90 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | BruceyPotato | 51 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | ConcernedPompano | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Baraboos | 12 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WorriedPompano | +3.26 | 53 | 59 |
| #2 | A Festering Dutch Oven | +2.82 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | BruceyPotato | +1.39 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | Baraboos | +1.00 | 91 | 52 |
| #5 | Femboy Goon Cave | -0.31 | 55 | 46 |





