








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 83 | 11% |
| Smokes | 272 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 238 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,839 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Femboy Goon Cave | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | ConcernedPompano | 32% | 37 |
| #4 | WorriedPompano | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | PanickedPompano | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Femboy Goon Cave | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | ConcernedPompano | 32% | 37 |
| #4 | WorriedPompano | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | PanickedPompano | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | El Clapo | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConcernedPompano | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | WorriedPompano | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | PanickedPompano | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WorriedPompano | 81 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | ConcernedPompano | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | PanickedPompano | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | El Clapo | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WorriedPompano | +3.92 | 67 | 55 |
| #2 | Femboy Goon Cave | +0.57 | 70 | 43 |
| #3 | A Festering Dutch Oven | -0.05 | 67 | 75 |
| #4 | ConcernedPompano | -1.06 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | PanickedPompano | -2.22 | 20 | 36 |





