








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2214 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1966 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1581 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1636 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,576 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 851 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuqs | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | TEMPORALIS | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | lucida | 69% | 36 |
| #4 | gorf | 68% | 25 |
| #5 | Faisal | 67% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuqs | 15 | 0.0196 |
| #2 | Faisal | 11 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | ηεηͺ | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | lucida | 10 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | White Meatπ | 8 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ηεηͺ | 334 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Faisal | 210 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | meepupu | 171 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | White Meatπ | 157 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | yuqs | 138 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEMPORALIS | +5.40 | 69 | 84 |
| #2 | yuqs | +4.89 | 66 | 78 |
| #3 | White Meatπ | +4.57 | 66 | 78 |
| #4 | Faisal | +4.32 | 64 | 86 |
| #5 | yuqs | +2.11 | 80 | 57 |





