








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3554 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3062 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3388 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2248 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,333 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darth92 | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Naymos | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | KUROZEN | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | TheSmooky | 64% | 88 |
| #5 | Aiklight | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Alvinroow❤ | 53% | 34 |
| #8 | Joe Biden | 52% | 27 |
| #9 | Chuck Norris | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | bigflouz | 50% | 44 |
| #11 | TyTiger | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSmooky | 38 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | Alvinroow❤ | 9 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Naymos | 7 | 0.0214 |
| #4 | Aiklight | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | bigflouz | 5 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSmooky | 369 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | bigflouz | 196 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aiklight | 78 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | KUROZEN | 71 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chuck Norris | 65 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patriotic | +3.35 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | TheSmooky | +2.17 | 87 | 76 |
| #3 | KUROZEN | +1.18 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | AlexDrozdzii | +1.04 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | Darth92 | +0.97 | 77 | 57 |





