








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3831 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2941 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3843 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3220 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,865 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devz | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | Kubson | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 52% | 241 |
| #4 | Norway | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | globin | 50% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 52% | 241 |
| #4 | Norway | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | globin | 50% | 222 |
| #6 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 48% | 93 |
| #7 | John Jiggle | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | globin | 36 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 24 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Kubson | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Norway | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 825 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | globin | 490 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 225 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | devz | 92 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Norway | 76 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norway | +2.33 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | devz | +2.20 | 82 | 78 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | +1.34 | 60 | 70 |
| #4 | globin | +0.83 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Firesnowii | +0.29 | 60 | 76 |





