








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3480 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3712 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2853 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3025 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,207 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 892 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Firesnowii | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | globin | 79% | 61 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 75% | 75 |
| #4 | Whipieee | 74% | 34 |
| #5 | bhuni | 73% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | globin | 11 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Theirs <3 | 6 | 0.0254 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | bstN- | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Firesnowii | 4 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 257 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | globin | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Whipieee | 99 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | bstN- | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | inViii ^.- | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |





