








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1814 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 663 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7274 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4906 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7016 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4733 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,963,404 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 806 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wT | 54% | 187 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 53% | 670 |
| #3 | John Jiggle | 51% | 317 |
| #4 | globin | 50% | 257 |
| #5 | Firesnowii | 48% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wT | 54% | 187 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 53% | 670 |
| #3 | John Jiggle | 51% | 317 |
| #4 | globin | 50% | 257 |
| #5 | Firesnowii | 48% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 41 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | globin | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Firesnowii | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | John Jiggle | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | wT | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 2309 | 0.16 | 60 min |
| #2 | globin | 608 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | Firesnowii | 348 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | wT | 272 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | John Jiggle | 152 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | +1.69 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | globin | +0.66 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Firesnowii | +0.10 | 58 | 79 |
| #4 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | -0.25 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | John Jiggle | -1.64 | 69 | 39 |





