








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5769 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5563 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5930 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4202 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,338,933 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devz | 79% | 61 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 54% | 604 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 50% | 257 |
| #4 | wT | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | Firesnowii | 50% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 54% | 604 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 50% | 257 |
| #4 | wT | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | Firesnowii | 50% | 222 |
| #6 | John Jiggle | 45% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 48 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Firesnowii | 37 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | devz | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | John Jiggle | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 2003 | 0.16 | 51 min |
| #2 | Firesnowii | 807 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 732 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | devz | 279 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | John Jiggle | 76 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devz | +2.73 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | +1.16 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | globin | +0.64 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Firesnowii | +0.02 | 59 | 78 |
| #5 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | -0.37 | 72 | 54 |





